Drop the Gloves!
Funny how every now and then a news outlet (usually American) will discover that there are US plans in place to invade Canada. It's happened again today, though I doff my touque in respect to Peter Carlson, who found just the right tone of humour for his story. Yes, there are American military plans for the invasion of Canada, going back to before there was a "Canada."
Which is okay by us, really. I mean, if you feel that strongly about it, come on up and we'll hash it out over a few brews and some shinney (might be kind of late though - ice time's pretty expensive during the day).
Americans forget that the British Empire was enemy #1 up to the First World War. The Revolution obviously upset them, and they had Canada to keep British. In the War 0f 1812 (and, really, could they not come up with a better name than that? It's been 193 years. Do we call the Civil War the "War of 1865?" Or the Great War "The War of 1918?") we invaded them and they invaded us. In the end, it was a draw.
And what side where the Brits on in the American Civil War? Yup - the Confederacy. In their efforts to keep their globe-spanning colonial empire together and turning a profit, it was vital for the British to oppose American interests.
Which brings us back to the impending invasion of Canada. Which Americans think is fairly silly - but there are plans, right? And there are circumstances that could arise to start the conflict. Sure there are.
Let's say that Canada discovers Dilithium Crystals in Nunavut. America's energy companies find out that oil will no longer be required as an energy source. Don't you think Georgie would hop up there and shut them up?
Or - less conspiratorially - if the US did rely on Canadian dilithium for all its energy, what if Canada cut an exclusive deal with the Chinese? Or, putting Star Trek aside for a moment, if American cities like Detroit became reliant on Canadian water, or if other American resources or things they import ever became scarce?
Do you think the Junta would wait a hot second before coming across the border in force?
But, more even than oil or money, the Junta runs on politics. And Canada is already a political sore spot. After all, our universal health care system - warts and all - covers 30 million Canadians at a far lower per-capita cost than the death-or-cash American system. Canada is not (yet) a wholly-owned subsidy of their medical industry, so the government sets drug prices. Companies can't gouge consumers like they do in the US - with not just the permission but the encouragement of the Junta.
So as a political liability (we even run efficient elections) and a possible source of science fiction supplies, Canada could become a juicy target.
Let me speak for all Anglophone Canadians: "to my American cousins, please go ahead and take Quebec. Soon."
Which is okay by us, really. I mean, if you feel that strongly about it, come on up and we'll hash it out over a few brews and some shinney (might be kind of late though - ice time's pretty expensive during the day).
Americans forget that the British Empire was enemy #1 up to the First World War. The Revolution obviously upset them, and they had Canada to keep British. In the War 0f 1812 (and, really, could they not come up with a better name than that? It's been 193 years. Do we call the Civil War the "War of 1865?" Or the Great War "The War of 1918?") we invaded them and they invaded us. In the end, it was a draw.
And what side where the Brits on in the American Civil War? Yup - the Confederacy. In their efforts to keep their globe-spanning colonial empire together and turning a profit, it was vital for the British to oppose American interests.
Which brings us back to the impending invasion of Canada. Which Americans think is fairly silly - but there are plans, right? And there are circumstances that could arise to start the conflict. Sure there are.
Let's say that Canada discovers Dilithium Crystals in Nunavut. America's energy companies find out that oil will no longer be required as an energy source. Don't you think Georgie would hop up there and shut them up?
Or - less conspiratorially - if the US did rely on Canadian dilithium for all its energy, what if Canada cut an exclusive deal with the Chinese? Or, putting Star Trek aside for a moment, if American cities like Detroit became reliant on Canadian water, or if other American resources or things they import ever became scarce?
Do you think the Junta would wait a hot second before coming across the border in force?
But, more even than oil or money, the Junta runs on politics. And Canada is already a political sore spot. After all, our universal health care system - warts and all - covers 30 million Canadians at a far lower per-capita cost than the death-or-cash American system. Canada is not (yet) a wholly-owned subsidy of their medical industry, so the government sets drug prices. Companies can't gouge consumers like they do in the US - with not just the permission but the encouragement of the Junta.
So as a political liability (we even run efficient elections) and a possible source of science fiction supplies, Canada could become a juicy target.
Let me speak for all Anglophone Canadians: "to my American cousins, please go ahead and take Quebec. Soon."
posted by fiduciary at 8:35 AM
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